Coyotito

11 years have passed but I’m still shortest in the class. I have always been called a midget and it really hurt and affected me emotionally. Why were you born? Echoed in my brain every day when I woke up. There was not a day that id come home without being insulted or feeling bad about myself. People would tell by eating bread and milk (cereal some days) daily for many years. In the afternoons I would drink a cup of milk from the fridge just to see if any changes happened. Frequently I checked myself using a measure tape. One week passed, nothing changed. A month passed, nothing changed. A year passed I only grew 2 cm. I felt a great satisfaction, but ceased after I noticed I was only 120 cm at the age of 10. So frustrated, I began calculating what my height would be when I reach 20. I was lost and hopeless.

Being short distinguished me from the rest of my classmates. It was a big disadvantage for me. Being a midget had made a limit to my fun. I always used to play football at home and it was my favorite sport. At break times in school the boys used to play football and I was usually rejected to play for one of the teams. I was heartbroken. I usually bit my lips just to hold my tears in and when I couldn’t hold it in, I would just walk away to a place where there were no people around .I used to practice football at home just to get one opportunity to come by, but that was just a dream.

If I only could get that one chance to play, I would’ve done my best to play it very well, but that was never the reality. The reality was just too much to bear and I could kill myself for it, but I didn’t because I knew it that it was prohibited in my religion. Why should I kill myself when I haven’t even reached the best part of my life yet?

It was not only PE that I felt left out, but there were other times that it happened to me. My primary school in England used to take us to trips to different places. From theme parks to historical sites. The last year of my primary school were we were going to go on our last trip we went to Drayton manor, the best theme park in Birmingham. My friends and I were allowed to go on any rides we wanted to. So we were off to ride the best and the scariest ride G-shock. We waited in the line which took a long time. I saw each one of my friends jump onto the ride and they were ready to have a crazy ride. I came forward to be checked if I was allowed to ride it or not. I was rejected in front of my friends and the crowd of people surrounding me. I looked down and started to walk away. ”why only me? “I shouted, in my head. I kept cursing and mumbling lowly. “Fuck this world”, I shouted when there was nobody around since I was a kid and I was not allowed to swear. Since I came to the theme park I had to make use of my time. The only ride I could go on was the little kid’s ones. I went on the ride which was shaped like a teacup and it was going so slowly for 20 minutes that I suddenly felt sleepy. Life really was hard for me.

Five years later I came to a school, Abaarso, where there is no justice and students over study. My first year at the school was pretty devastating. I started the school late and it was very hard to cope with. As I was gradually getting used to the school, I thought I was going to make friends but that was not the case until later in that year. I tried to make friends it didn’t seem to work out. I thought was I unfriendly or was it them? As I went to bed, I would reassure myself by saying why do you care about having a friend or not you’re a man after all. Later I found myself a friend called Warsameh who introduced me to his group of friends and I had a lot of fun that year. It was epic. We partied most of our time. From rap battles to water fights we really made fun out this hardworking school.

All of these experiences of pain mentioned are only a fraction of what happened to me because I was just simply short. Just a few inches could save me from facing all of these experiences. Life was messed up for me all those times since I was judged for my height. Being a short person ain’t no joke everybody who’s a midget knows that. There are only sometimes you’ll  be happy when you are a short person but compared to the disadvantages it feels that happiness is such thing that doesn’t exist .I guess some people are just born lucky and there  are those  who are not. There are some people who are life wasn’t mean to for them and I came to be one of them.