Abdalle H

Feeling dejected and with great despair, I recalled the last words she said to me, words that have shaped my entire life. “You liar, get out of my face. I don’t want to see you ever again.” I tried to apologize for the mistakes I made, but it was too late. Long before I even noticed, I had lost the only girl I had ever fallen in love with.

It all started at the summer of the year 2011. I first met her on a beautiful Friday night. The moon was full and the stars were shinning like beams of light. As most teenagers in Somaliland, I made my way to the mall with couple of my friends, where we usually hang out. I was drinking soda when I first laid my eyes on her, and suddenly it was as if time was frozen. I noticed from the way she was sitting, how comfortable she was on her chair, drinking lemon juice with her friends. She was so beautiful that I couldn’t even stop staring at her. I even spilled soda all over my shirt while staring at her without even noticing. Not to mention her luminous smile, that nearly took away my breath. To my surprise, one of my friends grabbed my shirt, and I turned away from her for a moment. By the time I looked back at her, she was already gone. I didn’t even get her name.

Days passed, and I still couldn’t stop thinking about at her. Every time I closed my eyes I would see her beautiful face in front of me. I even went back to the mall every night for an entire week, hoping that I would come across her again, but she never showed up. I relentlessly searched for her everywhere but unfortunately, had no luck. I thought that I would never see her again.

I told my friends about her and asked them to help me search for her. They all laughed at me for a while, but eventually agreed to help me search for her. And yet, another tormenting week had passed, and I still hadn’t seen her again. I made a lot of Duco (prayers) to Allah to help me find her even if it was just for a moment.

I was going crazy for her. I would see her face everywhere, in the mirror, in my home works, and even in the shower. I would run after every girl I see in the street, thinking that it is her. The thought of not spending another minute with her was suffocating me. Luckily, one of my friends invited me to his birthday party and insisted that I must show up. Even though I was feeling down and not in the mood to go to a birthday party, I still did to celebrate with my friend on his special day. At first, it was boring, for there were so many few people whom I knew, mostly acquaintances, so I just sat on a couch, eating chips when something completely unexpected happened. A stunning girl walked right through the front door, wearing a red dress. It was her, the girl that I was ruthlessly searching for. She had finally arrived out of the thin air and was standing 10 feet away from me. I closed my eyes saying that it was all just a dream, but it wasn’t. I opened my eyes again and there she was standing right across me, more gorgeous than ever. My heart beat increased instantaneously. I wanted so badly to talk to her, but I was very nervous. She looked at me with her marvelous eyes, and suddenly it felt like we were bonded.  When she noticed how I was starring at her, she smiled, and started walking towards my direction.

She said, “Hi” with a saccharine voice. I was so tense that my whole body started shaking. I ran out of words. All my efforts to express what I had in mind was like a drop of water in the Indian Ocean, so I just kept starring at her eyes. I couldn’t even answer her back. After two long minutes of awkwardness, I finally said “Qurux badanida” which in English means you are so beautiful. She blushed and then thanked me. We then briefly stared at each other again with neither of us saying anything, not even a single word, but somehow it felt like our minds were connected, and that we could read each other mind. I had never felt something like that with anyone before. Unfortunately, she had to leave early. I realized that if I let her go then I might never see her again. So before she could walk away out of the door, I asked her if she could meet me tomorrow night at Deero Mall, where I first laid my eyes on her. She made a weird look on her face that insinuated she wasn’t interested. Then I desperately said, “Can I at least walk you home? After all, this is a very dangerous neighborhood.” She stepped back for a moment, thinking, and said, “Yeah why not? What is the worst thing that can happen?”

I was a bit nervous about what she would think of me, for I never had a real conversation with a girl. I wanted to make a good impression, so I introduced myself and then asked her what her name was with a soft tone. She looked at me, smiled, and then whispered her name in my left ear. We got to know a little bit about each other that night. I mostly didn’t want to bore her with my tedious life, so I just kept telling her jokes. I even remember her laugh, walk, and most importantly her words from that night. She told me that she had never met someone so funny, honest, and simple like me. For the first time in my life, I felt appreciated. I wanted that night to never end. We finally arrived at her house, which by the way was very elegant. It was six flats tall and five times wider than where I lived. I knew that she was way out of my league, but I didn’t let that stop me. She thanked me for walking her home and wished me a good night. I wanted to ask her what her phone number was, but I didn’t own a phone at the time.

I went back home gamboling, and I was never more animated than I was at that night. I was jumping and laughing out of excitement. Nevertheless, there were so many questions in my mind like when will I get to see her again or what I would say if saw her again. Will she even remember me? I didn’t know what to do anymore except that I needed to see her soon.

Two days after that night, I was walking in front of Mansoor Hotel, heading to my uncle’s house, when I heard someone calling my name. I looked around but saw no one, so I kept walking. Twenty seconds after that, a fancy car pulled right in front of me. I wondered about who this crazy driver that almost hit me is. Surprisingly, a girl walked out of the car and yelled my name. I was curious about how she knew my name, and that is when I realized that it was her, the same girl that was always in my mind. She asked me if I wanted a ride, and I couldn’t say no. In fact, I wanted that rife more than anything, because I wanted to spend more time with her. She asked me where I lived and that is when it all began, all the lying. While trying to impress her, I made the biggest mistake in my life and told her a lie, saying that I lived in a big mansion near the parliament, when I actually lived in a small, wretched house that was in a bad neighborhood. Every time I tried to tell her the truth, I thought that she would no longer be interested in me.

As time passed, we were more than just friends. We even spent most of our time together, having lots of fun, mostly at her house. The more I got to know her, the more I found out how irrepressible she was. She had an extreme passion inside her and nothing could ever stop her from taking what she wanted, and that is what I liked the most about her. Knowing this, you might think she was just a rich spoiled girl, but she wasn’t. She was always helping poor people and putting others needs before hers. She used to say that one day; she would open a hospital for poor people and provide them with high quality medicine without even charging them for anything. In addition to that, she was very grateful for everything she had and never complained about anything in any kind of way. She taught me to value everything no matter how insignificant it might seem. I was nothing compared to her, and that is why I mostly kept lying to her. I told her unrealistic stories about me, hoping that she would somehow fall in love with me. But, what I didn’t realize at the time was the fact that every single lie I told her was getting me one step closer of losing her. If only if I knew that all my lies would soon catch up to me and explode in my face

One day, I had a fight with one of my cousins, and I was really frustrated. Growling back with anger, I left home saying that I am never coming back. Suddenly, my phoned rang. It was her number calling. I ignored it first. She called me again, and I didn’t pick up. As a matter fact, I turned off my phone and went to my uncle’s house. The next morning, after I got out of school, I went to her house to see her. I knocked at the door but nobody answered. I called her number couple times, but she didn’t pick up. Just when I was about to leave, her little sister opened the door, and told me that her sister didn’t want to see me. When I asked her little sister why, she told me that her sister was worried about me yesterday when I didn’t answer her calls, so she went to “your house” or should I say the fake address I gave her, and that is when I realized that all my lies had finally caught up with me. She said that the owner had told her that there is no one by the name Abdalle, who lives in his house. When I entered her house, I saw her sitting in the living room, crying. She was really pissed at me for lying to her. She asked me about what else, I had lied about. I didn’t know what to say. I had no other option but to tell her the truth once and for all. It wasn’t that long after she had heard what I had said and then ran away with tears dropping from her eyes and locked herself in her room. I longingly waited at the front of her room, hoping that she would come out and talk to me so that things would go back to normal. It turns out that wasn’t the case. She finally came out of her room, after five long hours and then said, “You liar, get out of my face. I don’t want to see you ever again.” I was so shocked that I hurryingly left her house without looking back at her.

Three days passed, and I was never lonelier without her. I wanted her to forgive me for my mistakes. I knew that she wouldn’t easily forgive me, so I decided to give her some space, and off course some time to think about us. Regrettably, time seemed to not be moving at all. “I can’t wait any longer,” I said to myself. I went to her house, holding flowers in my hand to apologize, but it was too late. I knocked on the door of her house, but nobody answered. An old woman walking in front of the house told me that nobody lived there anymore. I laughed at her and said with certainty that there is a family that lives here. She said that they had moved out two days ago. I was so shocked and I dropped the flowers on the road. I ran towards the old woman, grabbed her shoulders, and asked her if she knew where they had moved to, but she said that she doesn’t know. Moaning and crying, I went back to my home. I was devastated and heart-broken. It is true when people say that you truly realize how something or someone is valuable to you when you lose them. I had lost my one and only love forever, simply because of lies. It is strange how something small can ruin something big and beautiful. Now that I had found out that lying is never an option, I had sworn to an oath to never lie to someone who is dear to me, for you never how much damage it can do.